Tired

ÀÛ
In Chinese it is pronounced ¡°lay¡± with the forth tone, very determined sounding. Hard like a rock. The character itself is made up of a rice field (the square with a cross in the middle), a stack of silk (or fabric in general), and a little person at the bottom holding all that up. Yeah, that is “Tired!” with an exclamation mark. It is the physical kind of fatigue. There is another phrase that can be roughly translated into ¡°the force of my heart is breakable¡±. I really love that one. ÐÄÁ¦½»´á Again, I like to think of it as a state of my physical heart. It is so tired that every jump is delicate and on the verge of collapsing. With its every jump, I feel my physical being shattered into pieces and is blowing around like autumn leaves. Then they settle around the heartbeat like a flock of birds returning to the tree. Holding on to the essence of me, simple and solid, weak but soldiering on.

That¡¯s me right now. Physically exhausted and in need of lots of sleep and quiet peaceful days that demands nothing from me. Even though what really tire me out are long hard days and nights of non-stop programming and debugging. But I often felt it as a physical state rather than a spiritual one. Mentally I¡¯m quite happy. I¡¯m almost enjoying this a little, in a self-abusive sort of way. I like it when my mind is being driven to its capacity. It keeps me on my toes, my mind active.

Time for some sleep and tomorrow shall be another day.

3 thoughts on “Tired

  1. Now what you need is some kind of physical ÀÛ to balance out all those hours sitting in front of the computer. Let your brain rest and your muscles work! 🙂

  2. Meow! I just did that! 🙂
    Just got back from gym. It definitely feels good to sweat. I was going to write a lot more on this subject, re-iterate all the most tired moment I’ve experienced. But i was too tired to think last night. Does it sound interesting? 😉

  3. Good girl! Write more. It’s always interesting (and surprising) to explore chinese charactors.

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