Amazed and Surprised

If you are like me, having spent better half of your working life being told to tame your “tactless communication style,” “try not to upset anyone this time” “why do you always have to get into a fight?” Imagine how surprised i am when i’m sitting at my annual review meeting with my new boss and being told specifically, “I’d much rather you stay animated than not.  Sometimes it is no avoiding upsetting people, and that is okay.”

It is like sitting an alcoholic at an open bar. My jaw dropped to the floor.

I couldn’t think of anything to say until much later.

I wonder whether it is because my previous bosses have curbed my “tactless communication style” so much that my new boss had no idea which kind of liberty he just give me. Has he any idea what kind of spectacular “shock” i am capable of unleashing?!

but it is a refreshing point of view. Having been working for so long and having been through the same old annual review for so long, i’m surprised to learn that “it is okay to be yourself.” I have to admit i like the sound of it.  I had the urge to just get out and pick a fight.

Just kidding. 🙂



There is a memorable line from “A River Runs Through It“: “we can love completely without complete understanding.”  That’s how i feel about this movie, “Melancholia“.

I don’t understand it completely, but i find it deeply moving. Now thinking back, i realize it is also beautifully made: the cinematography and the music, which i just found out were from Wagner’s Opera “Tristan Und Isolde.”

First part of the movie is about a luxuriously arranged wedding goes horribly wrong, mostly because of the erratically behaving bride. Normally i might have started disliking the bride being such an irresponsible brat. But since i just finished reading Water Isaacson’s “Steve Jobs”, Justine’s struggle with depression seemed largely innocent and heartbreaking comparing to Jobs cold manipulation and abuse of others.

I absolutely fell in love with the 2nd part.  Charlotte Gainsbourg’s acting is phenomenon, the story telling, the music, the landscape, everything is perfectly done.

Some of the reviews mentioned how in the face of disaster, Claire (by Charlotte Gainsbourg) freaked out but Justine (by Kirsten Dunst) was completely calm. In an interview with the director Lars von Trier, he mentioned that in the face of sudden disaster, usually victims of severe depression tend to be calm compare to normal population because they go through the kind of devastation all the time.

In the Fresh Air interview, Dunst said her understanding is that Justine is the one calling Melancholia to earth because that was her planet, she could be calm because she was returning home.

But what moved me the most was why Claire was panic. It was not because she was afraid for her life, or her bourgeois existence (granted, i love the castle she and her family live in!). She was panic because if it was true, if Melancholia really was going to hit the earth, then Leo, her young son, won’t have a chance to grow up.

That line made me cry all the way home. I think probably all parents of young children could relate.

Think about it more, given how chaotic the universe really is, isn’t it miraculous that nothing significant has hit our planet all these time?!

For that i need to watch Melancholia one more time.