Bush: Ready to Legalize Martian Aliens

My sister told me about this news item from the Onion while we were devouring our Chinese New Year’s Eve feast. I almost spilled out my mouthful of egg dumpling soup. My Goodess!

So now, after driving sister and her bf to the subway station, and settling down in front of my computer while the dishwasher in in full-force, I checked out The Onion. It is actually just “News in Brief”.

Bush Vows To Discover, Legalize Aliens On American, Martian Soil
WASHINGTON, DC¬°¬™President Bush restated his commitment to the quality and discovery of immigrant and Martian life Monday, calling for increased efforts to register and search for gainfully employed and extraterrestrial aliens. “America must further pursue the quest for a better way of, or undiscovered forms of, life,” Bush said Monday. “To this end, I will commission the INS and NASA to assemble committees and probes to explore potential minimum-wage and minimum-risk endeavors in the service sector of the economy and the Olympus Mons sector of Mars.” Conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh criticized the endeavor, saying the social and scientific programs will take jobs and money away from domestic workers and domestic security.